You fancy, huh?

Please don't assume that you are hot shit and we will be impressed with you just because you live in a big city.

People from out of town always act like they're friggin Matthew Broderick (...or someone more famous) walking into our little bar. In the last month or so we've had someone from ~*~*~LA~~*~* and yesterday someone from New York. They both acted like total asses, drinking like crazy and acting shocked when we slowed them down.

No, you cannot just keep putting back jameson like it's no big deal. No, you cannot order a bunch of drinks with no sign of anyone else to drink them. No, we don't give a shit who you are.

Saturday night I was sitting at the bar, being a customer, when this NY guy started chatting me up. Next thing you know, he's trying to argue with the bartender and I feel the need to step in. I politely explained exactly how and why he was a jackass and how much we love our jobs but have to follow rules. I think I ruined his flirting. I wasn't interested anyhow. Sorry, bro!

Weird.

Last night a guy in his early twenties came in and ordered a beer. I asked for his ID and it had VOID stamped into it in little holes. I said, "..I can't take this ID" and he sadly asked why. I explained that it was literally void (which I've never even heard of happening) and he was actually a little surprised somehow. He had a temporary ID, pulled out a paper ID and asked if I could take that. Sometimes we can do expired ID plus new paper copy if it's in like the one week window between hard copies, so I went to ask my boss. On my way to her, I realized the paper ID had no picture and said in plain writing that it was not any type of valid ID. Poor guy. I went back to explain that and, lucky for him, he finally pulled out his passport.

Also, never fucking ever blow a whistle inside a bar, especially while a musician is performing. Douches.

Turn offs: Red faces and bad tipping.

Sunday night I was bartending and two guys in their early 20s came in. One seemed fine, the other seemed like he'd already been drinking. I gave them one beer each and then decided that was enough, so I politely and quietly cut them off. First, the one who initially seemed fine said, "is it because we look drunk? I worked out today so my face is red." Oh, okay, does working out also make you slur your speech? All done. Then they left and I realized that one had left me no tip and the other had left a quarter.

Turns out, the $0.00 tip had a crush on the girl a few stools over and kept texting her to hang out. Also turns out, I ended up making friends with her and her friends that night. They heard me telling someone about the $0.25 tip and asked if it was those guys. The girl told the guy off and they left me a big tip to make up for the guys. Lovely, ladies!