Stop Bitching.

There are rules to serving alcohol. A lot of them, and they get strict. Technically, I am not supposed to even allow you to get drunk. Huh? Isn't that what bars are for? Not according to the rules, guys. I know, minds are boggled.


We don't quite get Amish-level strict about it in my bar, but we are very careful about "over serving" and very willing to shut people off when they get too wobbly. We are extra aware of this on crazy busy nights when it is clear that people may be on a mission to get drunk. On nights like these, we keep a close eye on customers and keep track of who has had what.

I refuse to serve multiple drinks to one person (though I am usually pretty strict about that anyway because our bar is also a restaurant, it is not 21+) and people never ever understand it. Someone will come up and order five shots, to which I say, "who are the other four going to?" This person will inevitably point off into the horizon and mumble. I say, "I need to see all five people please." And now this person is getting grumpy. Telling me their names, where they are, or that, "they haven't even had a drink yet!" aren't going to change anything.

Here are my reasons:
You might be ordering more than one shot for each person.
You might be ordering a shot for someone underage.
You might be ordering a shot for someone who just did a shot, which we don't serve back to back.
You might be ordering a shot for someone who is already drunk.

The night before Thanksgiving was obviously a very busy night. Among other examples, I had someone trying to buy two beers and I told him his friend couldn't have another beer yet, as he had just chugged his last one. The friend-who-couldn't-have-beer was fine with it and very polite. The friend-trying-to-buy-the-beers was pissed and aggressive. What, why? I also had someone ordering several drinks and pointing out people they were for, those people then turned around and said they didn't even want a drink, but he insisted that they did. What? I can see them.

So just stop bitching. I ask politely, it's a simple task. If you try to argue with me, you're one of several things- drunk, a douchebag, or really sketchy. You know what those get you? Shut off, motherfucker.

What the everliving fuck.

We have a strange regular who has been coming in for a month or two now, we'll call him IC. He comes in late, sits at the bar, and drinks iced coffee. He asks a lot of questions and tries to engage us in conversation. At first I thought he was lonely, so I went with it. Then i realized he is strange and creepy. Last night he hit a new peak.

He came in and sat at the bar and seemed fine. A little while later, my coworker told me IC's finger was gushing blood. He said he'd cut it on a glass or his stool, he wasn't sure which. Interesting. He ate up the attention from the other bartender, our manager, and a girl sitting next to him. He even got her to put a bandaid on it for him.

RULE NUMBER FUCKING ONE: DO NOT TOUCH A STRANGERS BLOOD.

So we're going about our business, letting the manager deal with him. After she walked away, the girl at the bar tracked her down to talk to her about IC. Apparently after it all died down, he quietly told her that he'd actually cut it on a shopping cart at walmart.

RULE NUMBER FUCKING TWO: IF YOU CUT YOURSELF ON A SHOPPING CART AT WALMART, YOU SHOULD HAVE THAT SHIT CLEANED OUT IMMEDIATELY. DO NOT STOP FOR AN ICED COFFEE AND SOME SYMPATHETIC ATTENTION.

So he cuts his finger at walmart, casually comes into the bar, and then claims it happened there. Why did he do this? Not to begin a ridiculous lawsuit. Not to get his iced coffee for free. Just for the sympathy.

WTF.

Generation... Idiots.

If you were born in 1990, do not scoff at me for checking your ID. You are an idiot and you should forgo the drink and keep your handful of brain cells viable.