I can't believe I have to explain this.

Our floors are dirty. No matter how frequently they are cleaned, our floors are dirty. We have thousands of people walking around the restaurant every day, tracking through who-knows-what. We also spill plenty of booze and occasionally drop food. Please stop your fucking toddler from rolling around on the carpet; particularly in areas of heavy traffic. We are just waiting for someone to walk right into him, spill something on him, or step on his hand. It is dangerous for him and for our employees. It is also fucking disgusting. Don't let your kids run free in restaurants unless there is a ball pit involved. If you are going to let them run around, be prepared for them to come back dirty, injured, or covered in germs. Also be prepared for your waitress (and everyone else working) to fucking hate you.

No fucking way.

Last night and tonight, my bar is having big special events that are basically a couple of our busiest nights all year. Last night I got to go in as a customer. I was sitting at table 41 and there was a couple at table 42, which I was facing. I saw the guy come back from the bathroom and he literally started eating before his butt was even back in his chair. It was strange. Then my friend (a waitress) came over and told me that, "that guy just puked all over the bathroom." He was facing the bathroom and I watched him as he watched people go in and out of the bathroom, trying to fix his mess. His waitress didn't know what to do, because she didn't think he was drunk. However, you don't puke in the SINK and then go back to eating and drinking beer. So my friend, acting as bartender/manager, went over and took the beer away. The guy got really angry and acted like he didn't know why. My friend pointed out that the guy had puked just about everywhere except for the toilet, and we find that unacceptable. The guy got even more angry, because he likely didn't want his date to know what he had done.


Here are some things we can learn from this guy:
1. if you puked in the toilet, we probably wouldn't freak out. maybe you just don't feel well.
2. if you puked in the sink and then told someone (you don't even have to take the blame! just say you found the sink that way) then we would appreciate that.
3a. if you puked in the sink and tried to pretend you didn't, you're going to get cut off.
3b. if you get cut off for puking in the sink, just fucking accept it. fighting it makes you seem belligerent and that makes us all the more happy to take your beer away.