Generation... Idiots.

If you were born in 1990, do not scoff at me for checking your ID. You are an idiot and you should forgo the drink and keep your handful of brain cells viable.

You're not welcome back here, Vincent.

"It's coming out of your tip." is never ever appropriate.
Of course a server's actions and competence can affect their tip. Obviously. But do not, by any means, ever hold that over your servers head. You'll sound like a total dick.

Last night an older man and his date were at the bar and they were rude from minute one. Cut to the end of their night with us, and the man points out that the receipt that he had showed a different total than his credit card was run for. I apologized and then immediately realized that that was the receipt from before the last round of beers. It was printed an hour and ten minutes earlier than he cashed out and the difference was exactly the cost of two beers. I explained that to him and said I would get him a copy of his updated itemized receipt, to which he instantly said, "well it's coming out of your tip then."

What? What is? We did nothing wrong, he was just looking at an outdated reciept. We keep updated reciepts in front of every customer, he happened to hold onto the older one. We did nothing wrong. Douchebag Grouchypants left us no tip on a $78 tab. Fuck you, Mr Grouchypants, and good luck to you if you try to come back to my bar.

Protip: if you pay with a credit card, we will remember your name forever. :)

you're so old :(

Tonight we had a bunch of people come in after their 20th high school reunion. We gave them one round of beers before last call and they didn't bother us.  I was washing dishes and talking to someone when one of the guys (who had already tipped us $30 on a $29 tab, so I felt like I should be polite even though he was weird) called me over to "ask a question." He didn't ask a question. He said, "we were just talking politics" and I interrupted, "I don't know anything about that." He continued on, "well hypothetically, we were talking politics. and I said to [other guy] you shouldn't focus on politics right now, you should focus on this cute girl back here" before I could even catch myself, I said, "I was six when you graduated high school!"


Don't hit on the bartender unless you're sure he/she might like you. It's so fucking awkward.

You have got to be kidding me.

I bartended last night (and the night before. $460 in two days? yes please!!) and all of our regulars came out. It was nice, most of them are lovely! However, one particular regular is kind of known for being creepy, but I've never seen him get unruly.

• Once upon a time, he dated a friend of mine. She cites him as the, "worst, lowest, most shameful phase of [her] life." and that is including a serious drug addiction.
• Another friend of mine was barbacking one night and Creepshow tried to give her $5. She explained that she was a barback and they don't get tipped. He told her it was, "for the view." You see, a few minutes earlier she had bent over at the other end of the bar, unaware that he was staring intently all along.
• HE JUST LOOKS SLIMY AS FUCK.

So last night he came in and I tried to be polite. During his first beer, I had to stand at a beer tap near him and try to put a tube over it. The tube wasn't fitting well so I was fidgeting with it, when suddenly Creepshow leaned around the tap tower and quietly said, "You might want to rub it and spit on it."

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

I'm no prude and I'm not easily shaken, but I could have thrown up. I went to my manager to tell her what he had said and I told her I wasn't dealing with him anymore. Luckily, I was bar tending with a guy so I told him the same and he offered to deal with him.  I have no idea how I will handle Creepshow next week.

Ten cents doesn't matter.

We have a number of regulars. A few are amazing and honestly, I get excited when they come in. The rest... not so exciting.

Today one of 'the rest' came in with a friend for lunch. I try to be polite to her but she is just generally unpleasant. I also know that she never tips well, which doesn't help how I feel when I deal with her. They were closing out their tab and while I was literally standing a foot away, they had this conversation:

Friend: I'll get this.
Regular: Okay, what is the tip?
(I tried not to listen because I knew this would all be awkward anyway)
Regular (as she counts out a couple of dollars in change): And if I pick up that dime off the ground, we're all set!

AND SHE WAS SERIOUS.

Sorry, Tom.

Sometimes customers take a liking to us. They flirt, leave better tips, and sometimes give you their phone numbers. I've gotten a few myself and between all the girls at work, I've seen several different deliveries. However, most of the time it is just left, written on the receipt, with a name. It happened to me yesterday. Two guys- one was handsome and carried himself well, the other wasn't even very polite. After they were gone, there was a number for Tom on the back of the bottom copy of the receipt.

Here's the problem- you rarely have an entire table full of attractive customers. If you have 2-5 guys at a table and you find a number after they are gone, how should you handle that? Maybe you even really liked one of them, but there's no way to know which one liked you. Do us a favor, guys, at least leave the receipt in front of the seat you were in. Maybe even draw an arrow or a picture of yourself. We'd love it, because it's sad to let a good guy get away, but it's more sad to awkwardly get out of a phone call with someone you have no interest in.

So, I'm sorry Tom. For one, I have a boyfriend (who started out as a cute customer!) but even if I didn't, I have no idea which guy you were and I don't think I could bring myself to call and ask if you were the handsome and polite guy or his awkward friend.

It's not an accident.

We have a very unpleasant regular at the bar. It's not that he's the most rude or the most needy, he is just completely creepy. He comes in after drinking at other places all night and tries to buy shots, he creeps on girls as soon as they are left alone by their friends/boyfriends, he kissed me very close to my mouth (1. I did not invite, nor did i want that. 2. it was in front of my boyfriend), and I'm 99% sure he made a video of me while I was bar tending once. He is just yucky all around and I prefer not to interact with him.

Last night he parked himself at the bar next to a regular that I really quite like. Actually, he's dating a coworker, so we are pretty friendly. After Unpleasant left, the good regular told me that Unpleasant had said, "You know, sometimes she is pretty bitchy to me." And do you know what we both said at the same time? "Well that's on purpose."

I don't go so far as to be unprofessional or outright rude to Unpleasant, but when he yells my name from across the bar I continue with what I'm doing before I get him yet another Coors Light. When he tries to take pictures of me, I tell him that I would rather he not do that.  When he creeps on girls, I don't tell them how wonderful and lovely he is- because he just isn't.

Unpleasant customers can really wear on you, so I am more and more grateful all the time for some of our amazing regulars. We have some very lovely older guys who all come in alone and have become the cutest little group of friends.